English Class

I was chatting with someone at work yesterday about how I hated
English class. I didn't hate my teachers, just what they wanted me
to do: Become someone else. At least, that's how I saw it at the
time. Still do, although I'm less inclined to believe my strongest
convictions about that.

Well, somehow I'd graduated despite my distaste for duplicating
literary achievements. It was not due to hard work, however. My
whole education can be summarized thusly: Memorize books, Teacher's
pet, bookworm, enjoys learning, outcast from most social groups due
to personality and intelligence. I don't think I was one of those
snobby types who was always purposely showing off my brain, but I was
eager to demonstrate my understanding of a subject and converse with
those who harboured more knowledge than I - such as my teachers.
(They of course liked this, hence "Teacher's Pet.")

To this day I am uncertain as to exactly what I learned in English
Class. Beyond grammar, punctuation, and the proper formation of
sentences, alongside the introduction to writers I may not have known
about otherwise, what did I learn? That moulding myself into someone
I'm not is not my thang? What, then, of English majors? Are they
such hapless writers that they might actually have benefited from
being taught to write in others' styles? Did they not have their /
own/ style? Or did I miss the point entirely, and if so, why could
no one get through to me?

Curious, then, that the reason for this post is a notation to myself
that English Class taught me something both useful and detrimental.
It's something called "Complete Sentences." Most of my coworkers are
not particularly literary in their emails. This morning I was
reading email and saw a response to someone else. The writer simply
put: "it's done" - no punctuation, capitalization, etc. Wouldn't
surprise me if she'd even left out the apostrophy! I wrote to her
and said, "I need to take lessons from you on how to write shorter
emails." And as I wrote that, I could honestly not find any way
whatsoever to shorten that in a timely manner. Whatsoever.

I cannot imagine writing such an email. I am filled with horror at
the mere suggestion of it, even as I admire this person who can write
two quick words in response to what, for her, might be a month's
worth of writing. How I wish I could write simply when the need is
there!! My coworkers would love me!! Where my writing skills were
praised in high school, they are despised in the workforce.

Perhaps I missed my calling, then, after all.

I may never know.

~nv