Financial Aid

I was surprised to find that Harvard is less than $60,000 per semester.  Not exactly cheap, but far less than I'd expected.  However, I was further surprised to find that Harvard's financial aid office believes that even poor students deserve a chance at a Harvard education and have increasingly offered ways to finance their education there once admitted.  Then I read the disclaimer.  While they believe in helping a family get their kid into Harvard, they do not believe in helping a student into Harvard.  If they did, it would not matter what the parents' financial status was like.  It would be based on the adult student's financial status, instead.  The reason this disturbs me is because it's a generally accepted premise that parents must put their kids through college.  So, not all students have equal financial opportunities after all.  At least, not in the beginnings of their adult lives.  I count myself extremely lucky that I was denied financial aid in my early twenties because of the meager wages my mother made the year before I supported her on my even more meager wage while deciding to go back to school.  Why?  Because like in my first two weeks of high school where I was denied a week of shop class because I was too poor to buy myself a pair of boots, I was given the opportunity to stretch beyond the supposed limits of society once again.  Instead of going for a college education and putting myself into debt like I was told is the proper way to get a good job, I went out and got a good job.  Then I went back for a few credits here and there, letting work pay for the credits when I passed with flying colours, keeping myself out of debt.  I've gone along with much of society, but overall, have largely ignored some of the choices I could have made in order to "fit in."  I've done things mainly because /I/ wanted to, not because of what someone else expected of me.  I am very lucky.  What I'm trying to say is that if anyone out there is reading this and is stuck in some place where you think you need to comply with the world's confining wishes of what you should do with your life, know that there are other things you could be doing instead.  You don't need a college degree to get a job.  Sure, it might help, but it's not needed.  What is needed in anything you do is determination and the will to do it, working around obstacles as needed and taking as much time as it takes to do what you want to do.  Don't let anyone tell you you must become something you don't want to be.  Unless, of course, you want to be what others want you to be.  That's fine, too.  Me, I'm not having kids.  Just not my thing.  I may eventually get that degree.  But it won't be because I worry about my job status or what others think of me.  It'll be because I want to obtain something for me.  I hope I can some day pass this onto my nephew, or onto my friends' kids, not as a deterrent of any sort, but as a reminder that their strengths will see them through, not their unquestioning compliance with what is normal.  Note to parents:  You do NOT have an obligation to help finance your children's college education.  Once your kid is eighteen, that kid is legally an adult.  Now it's your choice to put them through college, or not.  Give them the world on a platter, or teach them how to fight for themselves.  Do the best you can for your own kid, because only you know your kid and your circumstances.  Thanks for listening!  :)  ::stepsoffsoapbox::

----- From Harvard's financial aid site (not by any means unusual for a college to say, by the way):

Can I apply for Harvard's financial aid independently of my parents?

No, in 99% of the cases. We feel strongly that your parents have an obligation to help finance your college education. Our aid is available only to students whose families would not otherwise be able to send them to Harvard.

What if my parents refuse to pay for my college education?

There may well be a serious problem. To be fair to all our students, we can base our financial aid decisions only on ability and not willingness to pay, and a decision to attend Harvard must be made by you and your parents.

Thanksgiving

We had family over for thanksgiving yesterday. It's a weird holiday for me because when I was growing up, I was told I was part Cherokee (American Indian, Indian, or Native American depending on the political correctness era you're in). In school, I learned that the first thanksgiving in America included the Indians of the area, and the Pilgrims. The Pilgrims had a bountiful harvest because of the Indians that helped them learn about planting and harvesting in their new climate. So, when they harvested their good bounty, they got together with the Indians as a way of thanking them as well as being thankful for surviving their first year. At some point I realized it was probably not just about thanking the Indians, but also about sharing in both directions… The Indians brought some food, they brought some food, and together they had more between them. The perceived harmony between them at that time later led me to be fairly bitter when the settlers later took over the Indians' land. Back then, I wasn't as forgiving of my other ancestors as I am now. Now I see things in a different light - both sides had good, both sides had bad, both sides were human after all. Who knows what the heck happened way back then… it's not like history books don't change, so if you weren't there, you are depending on the writer's interpretation of the events, not necessarily fact. It doesn't matter much now, what's done is done. But it still irks me at times. LOL.

I don't know how much of all that is accepted today… the way Thanksgiving is explained nowdays seems to be that it was pre-dated in America by the Canadian version, and American settlers began celebrating as thanksgiving for a good landing, leaving out the whole story of the Indians and Pilgrims altogether. What did I say about history books changing? Meh?

At any rate, I now see it as an excuse to get together with Dale's family and cook together and host a place for the getting together and eating together. I like it. When my mother first learned of my newly absorbed larger family (on Dale's side), she said, "Good, now you have the family you always wanted." I remember feeling baffled by this. I didn't remember ever telling her I wanted a brother or sister, or a larger family than the two of us, but somehow she figured I did. Maybe parental guilt, or something I said that I don't remember but which she still saw. What I remember wanting was a father. That dream was shattered when I learned what mine had done in his later years. No biggie, though… I've had a few good father figures in my life to pull life lessons from, and so I've learned that it was a good thing I hadn't known my father because maybe I wouldn't have turned out to be me. But I digress again. The fact is, I DO like having an extended family that I can be so close to. I sometimes wish we could all live closer to each other, but it's all good.

This is all stuff I've been reflecting on this morning as I sit here at my desk in front of a nice macbook with a purring kitten next to me, drinking tea "la ren cha" style and eating leftovers - this time, pumpkin pie made by my brother-in-law and his girlfriend. Life really cannot be better than this. I realize this rather often these days, and knowing how some of my friends and family suffer through life, and seeing stories on the news of some awful tragedies that happen, well… I know I have it really good. I guess it's human nature to be self-centered and selfish in many ways, but it's so humbling to recognise the streak of luck I've encountered for the past several years.

I look at the kitten and tell him all the time how hard it is to explain to him how much love I have for him, and how sometimes it just makes you think you should be shaking all over but it's only inside. I tell him how lucky I am to have him. He just sits there and purrs his agreement. Then I tell him how I get that for Dale, too, but in a different way. He still purrs in agreement. Finally I realise that he is hoping that the pie I'd been eating, and left a small morsel of, might be slid across the desk in his direction. So I smile and slide it across the desk. He licks the plate clean, purring happily, then hops down and takes off for the warmer livingroom furniture.

The kitten just came back. I have nothing tangible left to give him, but he is hugging me with his paws like he simply wants to be here. Perhaps I'm warmer than the couch. I'll take it.

~w

Pride... literally

Our cats are interesting to observe.

Kitty:  18 year old female cat who loves food.  She's a bit overweight at 11 pounds and isn't afraid of anything or anyone.  Takes care of Sinclair and Gizmo and puts them in their place as needed.

Sinclair:  6-year old, large, 17-pound cat that looks like a Maine Coon.  He can peer over the edge of our counter without much of a stretch.  He resembles a furry version of a baby mountain lion.  He's terrified of anything new and won't hurt my small critters like rats (when we have them).  Gentleman, and hardly ever meows.

Gizmo:  About eight months old now.  All black, highly intelligent, plays fetch, loves food and attention, not afraid of anything except Kitty.  Terrorizes Sinclair.

Now meet Rosco.  Rosco is over ten years old I think, and is staying with us for the week.  He is my brother-in-law's cat.  He usually faces a puppy and a pre-schooler.  He isn't afraid of anything and regularly bites people because he can.  He's very handsome but has liberty of the house - he can jump up on anything he wants.  He holds his own.  Usually.

So here's the rundown on how these interactions have gone.

Rosco meets Gizmo.  Gizmo hisses and runs away.  Rosco lends chase.  Kitty sees this and chases Rosco.  Rosco sees this and runs away.  Kitty lends chase.  Sinclair nowhere in sight.  At the time, I assumed that Sinclair wanted no part of another tomcat.  That was the other night.

Tonight, Rosco meets Gizmo.  Gizmo hisses but holds his ground.  Rosco gets closer.  I expect a cat fight and begin to move into position.  Sinclair stalks up behind Rosco and surprises him.  Rosco hisses at Sinclair.  Sinclair really holds his ground.  Rosco runs upstairs.  Sinclair follows.  I bring him back downstairs.  Gizmo runs upstairs and Rosco forces him to start back down the stairs.  Sinclair goes upstairs.  He traps Rosco.  Rosco backs off, hissing and growling along with Sinclair.  Sinclair then places himself at the top of the stairway and hisses at Gizmo whenever Gizmo tries to get close to the top of the stairs.  Rosco stands around the corner as if he'd like to go back downstairs, but wants no part of Sinclair.

What I've deduced from their activities is that Sinclair has not been terrorized by Gizmo at all, but has been allowing a kitten to be himself.  Whenever he hissed, he was just trying to tell the kitten to cut it out, but he put himself in the position to be played with.  Meanwhile, Kitty won't let Gizmo mess with her, but she will care for him and chase away a perceived threat.  Sinclair will then in turn stand up for his pride (as in cats) and make sure Gizmo is protected by both keeping him downstairs and cornering the foreign threat upstairs.

Talking about pride, you have now idea how much I respect Sinclair right now.

~w

maple sausage

Dale's comments about his breakfast as he heads upstairs:

Maple sausage was edible...
(really?)

...nothing special...
(duh, it's sausage, it's gross)

...not enough maple...
(nothing has enough maple for Dale)

...but it'll make a turd.
(hahahahaha)

~w

Children

I went to a birthday party for a 12-year-old yesterday. May I just say that children are remarkably insightful, and aware of discrepancies in their world early on.

Also...

Children are pure excitement. The high-pitched screams from a group of girls opening gifts brought me to my knees inside… both from ear pain, and a melting heart.

~w