happy and blue

I was just enjoying today... got a lot done so far... did two loads
of laundry, made some calls, cleaned off desk again, tweaked a couple
of my websites, took care of four clients in some way shape or form
(which reminds me I need to visit ebay after I finish this), had
lunch with Dale, did a couple errands, and took care of the dry itchy
skin on my legs (olive oil ROCKS). Then, as one computer sat
cranking away, I glanced over at the sewing machine and thought, "I'm
on a roll. Maybe tomorrow at some point, I'll work on that dress
thing I wanted to do, and do some dancing in between frustrated
screams!" I started feeling all excited until another thought came
to mind: "I wish I had Sunday off. This day's already flown by!"
With that I had a vision of work and this sense of dread and weight
suddenly settled upon my shoulders.

My next thought: "Wow, that was fast. I had no idea I felt so
strongly about work... that's it, then, I won't think about it until
I have to wake up and go that morning." Easier said than done, of
course, but with the realization that I could so easily succumb to
feelings of battle fatigue and do nothing at all simply because of
one overwhelming thought, I figured I would do just that - snap out
of it before "it" starts and I can't get motivated 1.5 days before I
have to return to battle.

SCORE TODAY:
Self: one
Work: NONE!!

hehheh

~nv

Parallels is sooooooooooo awesome

Yeah, I'm on that again. I've been cleaning and neatening and such,
you see. I found some papers that needed scanning, and scanning
takes forEVER on just one scanner. Not to mention, I hate the new
scanner's software, because it's inefficient. So I whipped out my
old scanner and hooked it up to Shady. Imagine:

Shady = iMac running OS X v10.4 (Tiger)
Old Scanner = Canon CanoScan LIDE 30, which does not work with OS X
but will work with XP.
Soran, my old PDA = Handspring Visor Edge, which works with XP but
not OS X.
Parallels v3.0 = "virtual computer" software for the Mac that allows
me to run XP as a "virtual computer" - i.e., it runs on top of OS X,
as if it were its own little program that can run its own little
programs.

I "boot" Windows, tell Parallels to connect the scanner to it, and
whammo, I'm scanning from two devices into the same computer, one in
OS X, the other in Windows.

It gets better.

I decided to open one of the "windows" scanjobs with ACDSee. Whilst
doing this, I saw "Xee.app." Xee.app?! That's a MAC app!! Why is
that showing up in Windows, I wondered?? So I selected it. The
document actually opened in Xee!! From Windows!! ba ba ba ba ba, I
say...

So I finish my scans and such, and say to myself, "It's been a while
since I synched my PDA." I pull it from its case, dock it, and hit
its little button. The pda software inside my Windows session goes,
"Oh, hey, you're synching.... done."

I LOVE technology.

The coolest thing is my dock while I'm running Windows in Coherency
mode. The only sign of Windows actually running is the Start bar
that spans the bottom of the screen. Tiger's dock appears to be
sitting on top of it!! :D

~nv

poor mum

Last visit to see Mum went well, but she's still trying to convince
us that Maine is better than Vermont and that we should move there so
she can have me near her again.

Her: "You know, you don't have to live in Portland if you hate
driving in it..."
Me: "Portland driving is not the reason I won't move, Mom."
Her: "You could live in Westbrook."
Me: "I don't like Westbrook."
Her: "You could live inland elsewhere, then."
Me: "I don't want to move."
Her: "But there are hiking trails here!"
Me: "Vermont has those too."
Her: "There are lakes and ponds everywhere here!!"
Me: "I like the pond where we live."
Her: "Vermont doesn't have ocean!"
Me: "Good reason to visit you."
Her: "If you lived here you could see the ocean all the time!"
Me: "Yeah, colder in the winter because of that."
Her: "But it's not as cold inland, you wouldn't have to live ON the
ocean..."
Me: "Then the ocean view is a moot point."
Her: "People are nice here!"
Me: "I like the folks where we live."
Her: "There are better jobs!!"
Me: "And just as much stress, and higher cost of living."
Her: "I'm here!"
Me: "Your choice."
Her: "By what's so special about Vermont, anyway??"
Me: "Family, friends, and my happy little hometown."
Her: "Tell them to move!!"
Me: "The town won't move."
Her: "Well, what's so special about it?! It's just a little town!!"
Me: "Yep, but nowhere else have I felt such a wonderful sense of
belonging until the day I drove my truck over its gleaming bridge of
charm."
Her: "Dammit!"

Then I said, "Mother, the grass is not always greener. Tell you
what. Convince Dale, his mom, his brother and his wife, his dad, and
his stepmom amongst a few other people to move to Maine, and I'll
consider moving. It's not exactly easy to convince them myself when
I like it just fine where I am."

Poor lady. Even if I wanted to move, a huge detterent is the hassle
involved with such a thing. Imagine ripping such deeply embedded
roots from the ground after years of struggle to get them planted.
Not to mention finding another job, finding a place to live, packing,
etc! I mean, I've nothing much against Maine (other than the colder
weather right on the ocean, similar to being on Lake Champlain in my
book). I just happen to like it fine here. So does Dale.

Her closing statement was, "You convince them!"

And this lady purports to understand that I am only convincing when I
believe something myself!!

LOL

speaking of alcohol

I've made the decision to avoid social drinking for a while. This is
because I found myself happily spending time at a friend's house not
just for the company, but also out of a "need" to get plastered. I
do not appreciate this desire to drink solely for its fuzz-inducing
properties. Once in a while it can be fun, and I enjoy the
incredulous comments some people make when I inadvertently
demonstrate the ability to "hold liquor." I won't dispute these
things. But with alcoholism on both sides of my family, I need to
set myself straight: Any time I feel a "need" to drink is a very
good time to avoid drinking altogether. Especially when I'm well
aware of a decent element of stress. Which I was encountering at
work for a good while there.

Awareness, I reflect, is a very good thing to have of one's familial
history. Armed with this knowledge, I hope that I'll always be able
to enjoy the taste of my favourite alcoholic beverages without worry
of turning into an irresponsible blemish on the face of my life. If
I ever head in that direction, God, I hope someone informs me of it
in time and that I listen!

~nv

If you're happy and you know it...

Stay where you are!

Mum is still trying to get us to move to Maine. She argues that my
reasons for not wanting to move there are based solely upon my
driving experience in Portland. Will she not listen to me? I
actually _love_ my adopted hometown here. It's nothing personal
against her state of Maine. It's that I'm happy where I am. I don't
care about better jobs there, I don't care about "better people" or
different 'tudes or "better" trails or lakes or ponds or whatever
else she tries to dangle before my satisfied eyes. I simply don't
agree with the "grass is always greener" concept. My life is great.
It's awesome. When I drive into my little town, I feel renewed. I
feel love, happiness, and a sense of community that I've never, ever
felt anywhere in my whole life. I've not felt this in Maine. Yeah,
Maine feels different from much of my state, but the places I've
visited there do not equate to this fulfillment I've encountered in
this tiny little niche.

I feel for Mum, I really do. I know she misses me. I miss her,
too. In all honesty, though, she needs to accept my personal joys
and stop badgering me about succumbing to her wishes.

Whoo, I love Meade... I wish they could make it without the side-
effects of fuzziness, though. I already had half a brain due to the
flubug that's trying to invade my body. Now my brain is down to a
quarter... love this rice dish I made, though.

~nv

idocracy

Hehheh, I just have to mention this...

There's a company that is telling its peoples they can no longer put
two spaces after a period. Something about creating an image for
itself or something. Yeah, some image. "We never reached second
grade."

Then there's Portland, Maine. Apparently the school committee
decided to hand out birth control pills to kids in middle school.
Yeah, real smart. While they're at it, why not just hand them some
lithium, too? Anyone having sex at age twelve must have some serious
instability problems. The school committee OBVIOUSLY knows what's
best for all the little childrens of the world and are seeing to it
that they're all raised under the appropriate thumb. Hitler all the
way, baby.

On that subject, Mum and I were discussing that the other day and
came up with a couple ideas I think should be incorporated into every
American school. American Sign Language and Braille should be taught
to each child starting from first grade onward. Seriously!! If the
world wants to be so preoccupied with preventative everything, then
why not look toward each individual potentially going deaf or blind?
Kids soak up these things best when they're young, and if every
teacher knew these two subjects inside and out, the classes all the
way through high school could utilize Sign Language and Braille to
make sure the students had a firm, lifelong grasp of this valuable
knowledge. Then, even if they themselves do not go deaf or blind,
they can still communicate with those that have.

An added bonus is cultural tolerance through understanding. A child
would be less likely to make fun of a deaf person if they understood
the language that person uses. Think about it. Seeing someone sign
without understanding what it's about or what it means lends cause to
intolerance. Not only understanding the reason for the gestures but
also the meanings behind them, however, prevents the viewer from
being an outcast in their own right.

Of course, I'm biased, since I love both Sign and Braille. Still,
looking at it from a logical perspective, it DOES make some sense,
doesn't it? :)

My rants for the day.

~nv

Oxygen

Dale got me hooked on this artist named Colbie Caillat. She's pretty
darned good. A couple of songs have quickly stood out for me -
"Bubbly" and "Oxygen." Regarding the latter, I've learned most of it
already, having listened to it approximately six times today, three
to work and three back.

The song is pretty poppish and for the most part doesn't have that
strong emotion I so adore. However, when I sing along, the words
invoke that very sensation of feeling. When I intone the words, "How
am I supposed to tell you how I feel? I need oxygen," well, I feel
like I've been slammed up against a watery wall that's reflecting a
million rainbows, singing with the angels, and displaying movies of
the last two years of my life, all at once. This is an
understatement and a horribly insufficient way of putting the
feeling, but perhaps you get the idea that the song pretty much
reminds me of my relationship with Dale. YAY!! I say. YAYYY!!!

I feel lucky, sooooo lucky, soooooo happy. I don't realize it often
enough. I'm swept up in the day-to-day transgressions of effort,
success, and folly, so easily consumed by exhaustion, irritability
and annoyances with the world at large. My inward reflection is
postponed until such a thing as a simple song or a loving look might
chance upon my attention. At these wondrously illustrious moments, I
remember with striking clarity the soft looks between Dale and I.
Vivid memories of the little things he says and does cascade around
me, a million little sparkles of light floating down upon my
shoulders and catching my hair in their happy reverie.

Indeed, I am happy. I thought, on the way home tonight, that while I
don't care to dwell upon the parting we'll inevitably face (for we
are human, and death will one day strike us), I don't mind thinking
about all the happy times we've had and will have. I welcome the
challenges we'll face together and look forward to working things out
if and when things ever need working out. If any human relationship
in my whole life will ever be worth pursuing, maintaining, and
keeping, I know that I have it in my grasp right now.

I don't know the reason behind the song. Only its writer will ever
know that with any certainty. I can say, however, that I need oxygen
for a particular reason: One breath cannot hold the words necessary
to convey the love, respect, and admiration that I feel for my best
friend and life partner.

~nv

New recipe: Stir-fry egg 'n rice

From Thai-Cuisine-In-A-Box I have gleaned a new recipe. Adapted, of
course. Some pad thai noodle thing had these instructions that said
to "lightly scramble an egg" in oil, then add chicken or whatever,
then the noodles, and then peanuts/scallions/etc with the sauce, and
then of course garnish. I really liked the fried egg in the
resulting dish, so I applied the concept to my beloved rice
creations. Tonight is my first truly successful attempt at the new
concept.

First, I put a cup of minute rice in a bowl, added a cup of water,
and microwaved it for a couple minutes (until water was hot). Then I
stirred and covered it and set it aside.

Next, a couple tablespoons of oil in a fry pan set at medium-high.
While the oil heated, I added some ground coriander, a bit of chicken
rub, curry, and freshly ground pepper. I let that soak in for a bit,
swished it around the fry pan, then plopped an egg in and let it fry
for a minute while I threw some wheat germ into some oil/spice
mixture off to the side. As that browned, I chopped up some scallions.

Then, I flopped the egg around and scrambled it up some, watching for
smoke as I still had it at medium-high heat and I possess a deeply
embedded desire to avoid a kitchen fire. As I flipped and chopped
it, I scrambled the browned-up wheat germ into it.

Eventually, the steam rose enough to frighten me some, so I pushed
the mixture to the side and added a bit of oil to the exposed portion
of the pan. In went the rice for a few minutes, with the occasional
stir.

Once the rice was crackling under the heat, I mixed it into the egg
concoction and added about a quarter cup of chicken broth. This I
let sit for a minute so it could evaporate some. Then I stirred it
all together and added the scallions and a few shakes of oregano.
Once it was crackling again, I added a bit of cilantro-in-a-tube and
stirred it some more, shutting off the stove.

And whammo, dish-a-la-chopsticks.

Quite tasty, too, might I add. I think the addition of pre-cooked
chicken pieces along with some frozen peppers, right after the egg is
cooked through, would be a lovely addition.

~nv

Windows XP is just as f*d up as the rest of the line!

I just got a call from a friend asking why his icons all turned into
little system-like things. You know, the boxes with the three dots,
etc etc. I'm like, "I don't know. Have you rebooted the computer?
Sometimes that'll do the trick." He's like, "No, but it just started
happening a few days ago so I did a restore back to August."

Hold it right there, I was thinking. No freakin' WAY a restore
wouldn't set that straight. But this guy doesn't lie to me about what
he does, so I carefully double-checked what I heard in case I
misunderstood. In fact, he had done as he said, as strange as it
seemed to me.

I told him how he might try getting one at a time back, and we
chuckled over the blatant misbehaviour as we hung up.

No more than three minutes later, he called back. "Hey, guess what?"
he says in an animated tone. "What?" I ask, wondering what else he
might have encountered.

"Well, I went into All Programs, and all those icons were like that, too."
"Really? That's just weird!"
"Yeah, but get this. I went all the way to the bottom, saw Outlook
Express, and thought, 'Hm, I've not checked email in a while,' so I
opened it. I had no email, closed it, and then there they were - all
my icons were back!" (He laughed as I gawked over the telephone.)

So, apparently Windows has a special feature where it decides to
modify all your icons for you, and if you don't like it, then you can
click its secret switch: Outlook Express.

And to think that XP is pretty much the flagship of the Windows line!!
I'm glad I've moved on to smaller and better things - Mac OS X, to be
sure. Of course, they've got their issues like anything, but I have
to say that the icons stay put. I just wish that when I highlight
something and drag it to the trash, it'll /drag it to the trash/
instead of re-highlighting part of my highlighted items. Score for
Windows in the draggy realm. I can honestly say Windows doesn't
regularly make me repeat mouse strokes... then again, Windows has so
many built-in keystroke functions that it's damned near impossible to
find anything where a keyboard won't get you out of a dead-mouse
pickle.

Still, the icons took the cake for me today!

~nv