Oxygen

Dale got me hooked on this artist named Colbie Caillat. She's pretty
darned good. A couple of songs have quickly stood out for me -
"Bubbly" and "Oxygen." Regarding the latter, I've learned most of it
already, having listened to it approximately six times today, three
to work and three back.

The song is pretty poppish and for the most part doesn't have that
strong emotion I so adore. However, when I sing along, the words
invoke that very sensation of feeling. When I intone the words, "How
am I supposed to tell you how I feel? I need oxygen," well, I feel
like I've been slammed up against a watery wall that's reflecting a
million rainbows, singing with the angels, and displaying movies of
the last two years of my life, all at once. This is an
understatement and a horribly insufficient way of putting the
feeling, but perhaps you get the idea that the song pretty much
reminds me of my relationship with Dale. YAY!! I say. YAYYY!!!

I feel lucky, sooooo lucky, soooooo happy. I don't realize it often
enough. I'm swept up in the day-to-day transgressions of effort,
success, and folly, so easily consumed by exhaustion, irritability
and annoyances with the world at large. My inward reflection is
postponed until such a thing as a simple song or a loving look might
chance upon my attention. At these wondrously illustrious moments, I
remember with striking clarity the soft looks between Dale and I.
Vivid memories of the little things he says and does cascade around
me, a million little sparkles of light floating down upon my
shoulders and catching my hair in their happy reverie.

Indeed, I am happy. I thought, on the way home tonight, that while I
don't care to dwell upon the parting we'll inevitably face (for we
are human, and death will one day strike us), I don't mind thinking
about all the happy times we've had and will have. I welcome the
challenges we'll face together and look forward to working things out
if and when things ever need working out. If any human relationship
in my whole life will ever be worth pursuing, maintaining, and
keeping, I know that I have it in my grasp right now.

I don't know the reason behind the song. Only its writer will ever
know that with any certainty. I can say, however, that I need oxygen
for a particular reason: One breath cannot hold the words necessary
to convey the love, respect, and admiration that I feel for my best
friend and life partner.

~nv