Cow Tax

I just found out that the EPA is trying to get some bill put in that
taxes cows. $175 per dairy cow per year, $87 per beef cow, plus some
smaller amount per hog. The intent is to help control methane
emissions.

Yeah, by having farmers kill off all their animals so they can survive
on grass themselves.

I say they might as well try to tax farts while they're at it. Trans-
Orifice Ozone Turbulences (as defined by the Royal Canadian Air Farce)
are responsible for a lot of methane in our atmosphere, you know.
They could segregate TOOTers and non-TOOTers into separate sections in
restaurants and other public places, beans would be labelled with a
TOOT factor of 10 while bread would get 2, and pudding shall be
outlawed so it must be made in large steins in people's basements and
shared amongst the addicted criminals who still make it anyway.

While we're at it, let's build houses out of cars and grow a giant
beanstalk into the methane clouds to see if Jack lives up there.
Isn't methane green? It's a greenhouse gas, right? Maybe it's Jack
who's doing all the real TOOTing and we only THINK it's the cows.

Pardon my methane mouth, but folks looking to fuck over one of the
hardest-working types of people on earth should get a shellacked
cowpie shoved up their wanker rather than the overflow of cash they'd
be generating for themselves by acting like white supremacists looking
out for the better good of us poor stupid idiots.

~nv