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20121027

realization

Credit Dale for this one.

The word "wrong" is not always used per definition given it in Merriam-Webster.  I know the version where "wrong" means "incorrect or not true."  I did not realize that the word is often used in two other scenarios:  When someone disagrees with your opinion, and when someone is trying to explain to you that you're stating something in an uncommon manner.

Looking back on things, he's absolutely right, and it explains so much.  Knowing this is bringing a barrage of emotions I can't even fathom right now.  Relief in some ways, for all the times I was told I was wrong when I knew I couldn't be due to the wrongness being something I perceived inside, like what I was feeling or what I preferred and why.  But also, utter astonishment on just how poor my grasp of working English continues to be. I studied the dictionary, I learned how to read and write, and I thought I could learn to communicate visually while pretending to be communicating with sound.  I think I have finally just realised that the spoken word and the written word are two different languages.  I will never be good at the former because I don't have the right equipment to learn it.  There's nothing wrong with me after all, and I'm not technically wrong about my opinions.  I simply don't grasp spoken English very well and probably never will, and therefore, need to be extra careful to clarify intent when I feel miffed.

To make myself feel more accepted, though, or perhaps less so depending on what I found, I did take another gander over to google to look for CAPD symptoms again.  In this case, I felt more reassured that I'm not crazy (well, the jury's still out on that one!) but rather, it's something that is known and therefore technically socially acceptable, even if difficult to live with.

Difficulty understanding language.
Difficulty expressing oneself.

I have always felt the latter could only be done via creative outlets - i.e., writing, painting, music (although no one wants to hear me sing, lol).  The first, I always skimmed over because I thought it meant /all/ language - i.e., spoken and written language are one in the same.  If it means either both OR just spoken, however…

Anywho, I suppose I could feel sorry for myself some more but in reality I'm one heck of a smart person to have been able to fool so many people (and myself) into thinking I understood them all these years.  Smart, and very, very deluded.  Oh well, so be it.

I'm so fucked.  I wonder what it's going to be like when I'm old and hard of hearing in addition to plagued with CAPD?  I'm going to be one heck of an annoying (and frustrated) old woman, that's for sure!

~w

Kidney stones vs water intake

I was once told to drink a gallon of water each day for several days to flush out a kidney stone.  I remember thinking, hahaha, that's funny.  I can't even drink the recommended eight glasses per day, let alone twice that.  I managed the recommended eight per day for a few days and suffered for it.  Achy sides, nausea, and the feeling that my brain was turning to mush.  That, and I had to pee every twenty minutes, even if seemingly very little came out.  Which was crazy, because I gained five pounds in a couple days' time.  That's probably because I was dehydrated, right?  But I didn't like having the stone, so I did it.  Until I was sure it was gone.

I don't like being hydrated.  Achy sides, peeing water every 20 minutes (and seemingly not nearly enough of it considering how much I'd been putting in), not being able to think, and especially nausea are not things I want to live with on a permanent basis.  I couldn't believe people live with this all the time, though, so I began to question the doctor's insistence that drinking that much water is GOOD for people.  Looking for information on the topic of "too much water" actually yielded some surprising results.  You can die from drinking too much water.

Let me state that again.  YOU CAN DIE FROM DRINKING TOO MUCH WATER.

What?  Really?  Yep.  Especially if you drink too much too fast.

I don't recall if I'd found a list of the symptoms at the time, but I recently found them at livestrong.com.  Read for yourself.

Nausea, disorientation, fatigue, vomiting, frequent need to urinate, headache.  And it doesn't necessarily take what we might consider a lot of water to cause it.  It can occur if your body thinks it needs to retain water and you drink water anyway.  The body apparently decides how much is too much.  It doesn't have to be a lot.

The last part really got to me.  What if my body is tuned to where it always thinks that it needs to retain water?  This would explain why I don't sweat much (noticeably), why I overheat so easily sometimes.  And it could certainly explain why drinking a lot of water completely overwhelms me and gives me symptoms similar to water toxicity.

I've since tried, on occasion, to slowly increase my liquid intake.  It doesn't cause the achy sides, but I still feel like my head gets weirded out at times.  It seems to be a pretty fine balance if my body isn't specifically asking me for something through thirst.  Yes, I've heard that thirst is a symptom of dehydration.  As I said, I don't like being hydrated.  Also of note:  Despite not drinking "enough," I seldom feel thirsty in the summertime.  In fact, I feel more thirsty in the wintertime than I do any other time of the year… and I drink more.  I figure it's because the dry air sucks moisture out of my skin and my body realizes he needs to add it back in.  The only exception to this that I can think of was when we went to Arizona and it was very dry there.  It was hot, but I didn't feel hot at first.  It hit me fast.  Suddenly I began seeing things and feeling dizzy.  Dale led me to shade and told me to sit down and drink water.  I did, and eventually came back to life.  I didn't feel weird from drinking that time, despite not having known I was thirsty until the liquid began to seep into me.  But after that, I was thirsty there, and kept drinking.  I didn't pee more than usual, either.  The only thing I can think of is that my body had never experienced a super hot day in the sun without humidity before.  Hot days around here usually come with humidity, and I wilt in that combination so I avoid it like the plague.  Let me tell you something, though.  As much as I normally detest being out in the sun, Arizona sunshine is gorgeous.

Anywho, the point of this post is that I don't know how to get my body to want more water.  However, most of the time it seems to do pretty well on its own.  I'm very healthy, and I've learned to flush out my kidneys whenever I get the slightest inkling that a stone might be forming.  So, I reason that perhaps I should leave well enough alone.

I do need to slacken off on the plain tea sometimes, though.  It contains stone-forming oxalates.  LOL.

~w

20121013

Gizmo vs Bombay

When we were first adopting Gizmo, all I could think was "OMG, Bombay, Burmese, something along those lines."  I did some research and was almost kind of hoping I was wrong because I read about how they're so vocal and attention-seeking.  Last night our friend, Michael, came over for dinner and sees the little bugger.  He goes, "Bombay?"  I'm like, "That's what I thought!"

So, I took a good long look at him this morning and began writing these things I've noted about him.

- We call him Puma Cat because he lays in positions that resemble the Puma logos on clothing.  (However, he really doesn't look anything like a Puma, which is heavy and brown.  He really looks more like a tiny panther.)
- We also call him "Fuzz Nut" because he's a fuzzy crazy thing that would bounce off the walls of a padded room.
- He plays fetch.  Yep, with an aluminum foil ball.
- We chase each other around the house.
- He is highly intelligent.
- He has to be everywhere I am, all the time.
- He has a funny purr.  Most of the time it sounds like Kitty's, but sometimes this weird vocalization appears in it, like a soft vibrating trill.  Dale and I always look at each other in alarm, then like, "Good, you heard that, too, right?"  It's kind of freaky.
- He grunts.  A lot.  And snores.  Most of his grunts are when he doesn't want to be picked up, like when he's in the middle of thinking "Let's go pick on Sincla-- WHAT THE, NO MOMMA PUT ME DOWN!!"  (look look look crouching :: snatch :: grunt grunt whine)
- He doesn't spook easily.  As a kitten I got him a couple of times by letting him start inspecting a mat before sliding it towards him suddenly.  After that, it's been the occasional grab-the-rump-when-he-least-expects-it sort of thing.  That only gets me about an inch or two, though.  :: sigh ::
- He will follow me into the bathroom if I let him.  I used to think it was cute until he began jumping up on my lap in there… yeah, about that.  Now he sneaks in and I have to push his lithe, muscular little body out the door, squirming as it goes.  Then he'll sit out there and wait for me to come out.
- He also follows me into the shower.  He doesn't like water, though, so then he'll sit on the edge of the tub looking at me with big round eyes.  He'll look at the water in the tub, then up at me, and cry nervously like, "Momma!  It's wet in there!  Get out!"  Then when I reassure him, he'll get this look on his face like wtf is wrong with her and he'll jump down, crying and scratching at the shower curtain until I get out.
- Sometimes I find him sucking on the bath mat.
- He's gotta be in the sink when the water's on.  He mostly just sniffs and licks the water coming out of the faucet, but occasionally steps in it or cuffs at it, too.  It's usually cute although can be a big pain in the butt when I'm trying to brush my teeth.  I usually brush my teeth in the shower, though.
- He hides his toys in the tub and until Dale caulked it just right, kept pulling the drain strainer out.  Sometimes it would be lost in some weird places.  Most of the time it would be in the tub, on the bathroom floor, or in my den.  I often heard him playing with it in the kitchen but somehow it always ended up back in one of the three aforementioned places.  See the comment about hiding his toys in the tub.
- He LOVES to cuddle.
- He has some very obvious expressions, as if he's a mini human.  Like the time he jumped in the toilet bowl while Dale was cleaning and I gave him a bath.  He was very glad for the towel I wrapped him in and seemed to know I'd done right by him by bathing him just in case of chemicals.  However, he didn't like getting wet.  The look on his face when he shook his wet paw at me and splatted me was definitely not one of "Whups, too bad."  It was, "Ha!"  /: |

Oh, and incidentally, "Gizmo" was and still is the right name for him, as hard as it was to go with it at first.  He really is my little gremlin.  His expressions have remained (which reminded me of Gizmo from The Gremlins in the first place) and now with the addition of the trilling in the purr, it really fits.

Now that I know the little guy so well, I figured I'd read up on Bombays again and see if the personality traits match up.  I've bolded those items I feel do.  I'm not really sure on his eyes, though… they go back and forth from a weird gold-brown colour to the coppery colour mentioned, and there's a ring of green around his pupils.  But, the personality traits all seem spot-on.  Then again, a lot of these are in many cats.  LOL.

From Wikipedia:
The American cat breed, named Bombay, was bred in 1958 in Louisville, Kentucky, when Nikki Horner of Shawnee Cattery deliberately bred an American Shorthair with a Burmese for the purpose of creating a domesticated cat that resembled a "miniature black panther".[3] This earned the Bombay the nickname "parlor panther". American Bombays have copper or golden eyes, and a jet-black coat. Occasionally, a Bombay kitten may be born sable colored or have a few spots of white on chest, ears, or, tail, because of its relation to the Burmese.
Personality characteristics - As cited above, Bombay cats love to eat. It is a part of nature. To reduce the risk of diabetes, it is important to feed them at certain times of the day. This will prevent the gaining of unnecessary weight. Do not fall for the scratching of the food bag or the desperate cries for food. These tactics are used to try to pry out some food from you. It is a very unhealthy habit that can never be broken.
Bombays tend to be attached to their families and crave attention, and for this reason this breed is highly suitable for children.[4]
Bombay cats are not independent. They seek attention from their owners and people around them often and dislike being left alone for extended periods of time.[5]
Although they like to be around people generally, Bombay Cats also tend to have a certain person whom they pay special attention to in their lives.[5]
Overall, the Bombay breed is intelligent, playful, and attention seeking.[5] They tend to get along well with other cats, as they have an established pecking order in the household. They have a very distinctive purr and love to snuggle. On cold days they can be found next to any source of heat they can find.[citation needed]

Burmese description from wiki:
The accepted eye colour for the breed is gold or yellow. The coat is known for being glossy, with a satin-like finish. As with most short-hairs, it requires no additional grooming. The shape of the British breed is more moderate but must not be Oriental,[2] while the American breed is sturdier in build. Longer lived than most pedigree cats, they often reach 16 to 18 years of age.[3] Burmese are a small to medium size breed and tend to be about 4–6 kg in weight.[4]
Burmese are vocal like the Siamese but have softer, sweeter meows. They are very affectionate and enjoy company, being a people-oriented breed who form strong bonds with their owners and gravitate toward human activity. Burmese need a reasonable amount of human attention, are not as independent as other breeds and are not suited to being left alone for extended periods of time. The Cat Fanciers' Association (CFA) breed information on the Burmese implies that all survival instinct of flight or fight seems to have been bred out of them.[5] However, other sources[6] note that, while rarely aggressive with humans, Burmese cats can defend themselves quite well against other cats, even those larger than themselves.
Burmese maintain kitten-like interests and energy throughout their adulthood. They have a number of dog-like characteristics, often learning to play fetch and tag.[5] Burmese are good with children and dogs. They are suitable as an indoor breed of cat, will usually stay more affectionate if kept indoors and are comfortable travelling in cars.


20121012

Don't see THIS every day!

Apparently they're going in and out right now.  That's gotta hurt...



20121009

MWAHHHHH hahahahahahahaaaaaa ZSH!

My goal tonight:

- Sort through pictures.
- Via commandline on my mac.
-- Via Z-shell.
--- While not killing anything.

So far so good!

Oh yeah and I've got techno music to boot. Can't go wrong with that. Hey, gotta stay in practice of the all-powerful commandline. Otherwise, I'll never remember any of it.

~w
ps I opened mail via commandline. No, not hard, but not all mac weenies can say they know how to do that…

20121006

Fried corn meal mush egg thingie?

Not sure what this is really but here's the recipe as I remember it from a half hour or so ago.

Boiled water
1/2 cup corn meal
mixed up (probably have been better if I'd done this with cold water and then boiled it, like instructions usually say)

once most water is absorbed/evaporated and it's a thick mush:
Melt chunk of butter in fry pan on medium heat
Add ground cumin or whole cumin for that matter, to taste
Press corn mush into butter, keeping together like a solid
Let it fry for a while (5 minutes?)

Corn mush should be a bit solidish by now but still needs cooking.  Form a hole in the center of the "pancake" just big enough for an egg yolk.
Dump in an egg.
Spread the white over the top of the mushy cake in all directions (from the center outward works well).
Let it cook on a quarter heat for about ten minutes, or until the bottom is turning brown and crispy and the top white is mostly white.  Yolk will hopefully still be a bit liquidy on top, assuming you like runny yolks at all (I do).
Turn off heat.
Carefully flip "pancake."
Let it sit as it cools, then immediately turn frying pan upside down over plate to let the cake de pan flop out.

Add a bit of salt.  It's a little bland.  Otherwise, interesting take on the familiar "toad in the hole" concept.  I suppose to expedite this and use fewer cooking items, one could prepare corn mush ahead of time, keep it in the fridge, and then simply fry it with the egg... that way you can make a few days' worth of mush and save some extra time in the morning.

I like finding new ways to cook food... lol

~me

pellet stove

As an adult, I've come to appreciate doing chores to some extent.  I think it's partly because I know I'm doing chores for my own benefit, and partly because worklife is so brain-intensive at times that I welcome the mundane repetition and creative approaches I sometimes take to do things.  Every chore can be done a bit differently each time.  For instance, we can either let the cat litter go for days on end and then clean out the boxes all at once.  Or, we can scoop them out each day and come trash day, the work is already done.  I bet the cats like the latter better, but either way works.  We can do dishes via the dishwasher, or one by one as we use them, or plop them into the sink and do a bunch at once.  One of my favourite things to do is to allow the dishwasher to fill a bit, then wash my tea stuff in a bin as is common.  Then, not wanting to waste the washing water, I load up the bin with dishes from the washer.  Eventually the washer is emptied.  If I didn't have the dishwasher, I'd probably hate doing dishes.  Go figure.

This morning I walked past the pellet stove on my way to the laundry room and smelled woodsmoke.  Yay!!  Woodsmoke!!  I love the smell of woodsmoke!!  It reminded me that it probably needed some maintenance, though.  So when I was done with the laundry I go back to the stove to perform routine maintenance.

Soon I'd grabbed a metal spoon to dig the very-stuck-on, dried, black charred stuff off the bottom of the pellet pot.  Otherwise, the lever wouldn't pull out and the pot wouldn't drop its remains into the ash tray down below.  Dale had told me you have to work it back and forth a bit.  Ha.  I know he has more patience than me, but egads, I wasn't willing to wait that long to empty the darned thing.  As it was, it took me several minutes to dig the crud off with the spoon.  It was really stuck on!  But I got it and now the thing opens nicely again.  I suppose they can't use teflon where flame is...

Anywho, while I was doing this, I needed light.  Pulling on the knob with one hand and digging with a spoon with the other at the same time left little in the way for light-holding.  My teeth didn't like holding the little flashlight.  So I got the Gorilla light out and let it cling to the stove.  Pellet stoves, after all, are made of cast iron.  And, cast iron is magnetic.  And, the Gorilla light has three pendable legs that all end in magnetic ends.  Ha!  So there's my Gorilla hanging from the side of the stove like it's made to do that (it is) and I'm digging away, scratch scratch, dig, scratch.  Stove:  1.  Me:  2.  I win!

Then I dragged out the vacuum and Kitty didn't get scared.  Him.  She was two feet from the thing and never budged.  I swear she's losing her hearing.

Also on today's list are any miscreant dishes, tea, main vacuuming, breakfast, a bit of organizing, and then some outings with Dale.  I feel like cooking, too, but I don't know what yet.  Perhaps once I'm fed that will change.

Hm.  I should probably wash windows, too, since it's starting to get cold out.  That might have to wait for an unseasonably warm day... hey, I'm a mac person!  lol

-- me