whitthoughtoftheday

Apparently eating salt is not bad for children.  After all, boogers are salty.

Safety and Security for the computer

http://www.microsoft.com/security/pc-security/protect-pc.aspx

whitthoughtoftheday, 4/27/2011

Clutches have personality.  Some are really sensitive and like a gentle shift, others have a short fuse and will stall as if the whole car will bury itself into the ground on a whim, and still others are so hyped up on the car equivalent of caffeine that they're more jittery than unbalanced tyres on a road full of potholes.

Then there's the down-to-earth, broken-in kind that go, "Meh, whatever."

I like the down-to-earth kind the best.  It's like hanging out with an old buddy who's seen your messy house so many times that neither of you even notice any more.

I really really love this computer

I just played Airxonix on a mac...

whitTHOUGHTSoftheday, 4/24/2011

Easter:  An old holiday taken over by Christians and Commercialism, and my favourite one at that.

My foot screams at the thought of a hike, and my body screams at the thought of one at 6am on Easter Sunday.  So I sit here alone at 6:30am and gaze out the window, for it is a beautiful Spring day, the grass is green already, and the birds were so happy they kept waking me up anyway.

I wonder if the Rainbow Bridge ever gets flooded like the one down the road?  (Hope not)

I'm hungry.  Again.  Funny how that keeps happening.  Almost like I'm a human or something.

Virtual Machines don't run Airxonix so well.  They also take an excessively long time to scan memory cards.  Still... COOL!!!!!

I can do anything... if only I'm obsessed with it!

I love how the morning light sets fire to patches of trees on the mountain, then the clouds come to extinguish the flames.  It's very pretty and fun to watch.

My cat is like a dog.  He follows me around and stares me in the eye and purrs when I'm happy.  Okay, the purring isn't like a dog...

My other cat drools like a dog.  Ew.

I get to drive the Datsun today!!  I hope...

And now I'm so hungry I really must find food.  Perhaps a spot of tea, too.  With a little sugar, too.  I'm beginning to try the bastardization of tea lately, talking myself into it, just so I can use lump sugar.  I've already dumped three cups because of this, but hey, I got to use lump sugar!!

whitquoteoftheday 4/22/2011

"The grass isn't necessarily greener on the other side, so bring some fertilizer." –whitquoteoftheday, 4/22/2011

whitquoteoftheday, 4/19/2011

On the pathway to fun, speed can be very influential. (me)

Unity

So 8GB on the macbook is the difference between awesomeness and sluggishness.  I'd rather guessed that to be the case in theory, but egads, night and day in practice.  Now I can open Fusion, "boot" Windows 7 on its meager 1.5GB RAM, and then proceed to run whatever else I want on the Mac's OS X.  This can include but is not limited to iPhoto, iWeb, iMovie, GarageBand, Scrivener, Pages, Xee, Chrome, Mail, and Photoshop Elements, all at the same time.  The thing doesn't even hiccup.

Granted, things are still loading INTO memory rather slowly, but I'd expected that because of the hard drive's limitations.  But I hardly ever shut this thing down so simply opening everything once makes it so it loads super quickly... with all this RAM, the MAC has little to reassign.  Pretty much every app I ever use gets its own allocated RAM and once booted and loaded, it's speedy.  OMG, it's speedy.  Definitely the best thing I could have done to this machine.  I knew it when I bought it that I wanted to do this upgrade, and I was right!

Yay!!

~nv

my favourite room of the house

is the bathroom.

Followed very closely by the kitchen.

Nowhere else can one read, eat, drink, create waste, wash, sleep, stay warm and keep moisture in the lungs any better than in the bathroom.

I still want to create my own version some day... a slightly larger version, with a towel-filled cavity in the floor beneath a torch, not too far from a tub sunk into a slightly raised platform (just to prevent people from walking in too easily). Actually, there would be several such cavities for a change of scenery. I'd climb out of the large tub (big enough to do a few strokes in if you dropped down the middle separator - of course I wouldn't always want to do a few strokes; why waste water?) and just crawl over to the bed-cavity, naked wet and happy, and just plop it there and fall asleep. I'd likely do this every evening and wake up the next morning, refreshed. All my clothes would be in a closet next to a shower, the washer/dryer would be next to that, it would be bliss. A small fridge and cupboard would be near the bed for latenight snacks. Yeah. Of course the toilet would adjoin the main living area, segregated between the two rooms by walls, with its own small sink.

I've been wanting one of these "bathrooms" ever since I first thought I'd get into architecture. Alas, this design, while to me seemingly cost-effective, streamlined, and efficient (as far as combining master bedroom/bathroom and plumbing goes, at least), would probably cost a fortune and require some specific space. Sigh. Oh, and it would have windows facing all directions except north. I've have prisms at the tops of the windows for the sunlight to catch, and the bottoms would have some sort of light-filtering panels to avoid peeping while letting in the morning light. The blinds could make it dark if need be (such as for manouevring via torchlight).

Yeah.

~the comfort seeker

egads, I'm sick of being sick

Maybe if I tell on these germs, they'll get scared and go away.

Last tuesday I thought I was coming down with something, but I wasn't sure.  Just a slightly scratchy throat.  By evening I felt it taking a hold, though.  I stayed home from work on wed and thu, which was a bit of a sore throat (but tolerable, which says a lot coming from me) and the next day, a decent headache.  I would normally go in regardless of these symptoms, but I was also very loopy and confused so I didn't feel it safe for me to drive let alone try to get anything accomplished.

I made it in on Friday, still with an occasional bout of confusion or dizziness, but that hit me early afternoon so it was all good.  I felt great by late afternoon and thought I was fine for sure, and had just beaten the easiest illness I'd ever had.  Thought sleeping for two days was a wonderful thing, no runny nose, sneezing, nothing!  It was awesome!  So on Saturday we travelled north to see family and we encountered a sick toddler.  I thought nothing of that until Monday when I went into work and started getting a sore throat again.  By lunch my throat was on fire so I shovelled in a burger and fries and OMG do NOT drink Coke when you've got a sore throat like that...

I went home shortly after I got back from lunch because it was so bad I could barely talk without wanting to die and couldn't concentrate anyway.  Plus, who knows if I was contagious or not.  Well, I considered going to my doctor that afternoon but didn't see signs of strep other than the throat issue being my only symptom.  I thought it would go away by evening.  It didn't.  In fact, it got to the point where I couldn't swallow very well, either.  It was like trying to swallow a pill - you know, where you are aware of the gag reflex trying to keep the pill out, and you have to mentally trick yourself into swallowing it?  That's sort of what it was like.  The pain was horrendous.  Around 7 or so, Dale asked if I wanted to go to the ER and I eventually asked to go.  By that time I saw a line on one of my tonsils that wasn't going away and worried maybe it WAS strep - still no sneezing, coughing, etc, just the worst sore throat I can remember for a very long time.

Turns out it wasn't strep.  I've no idea what the bill for that is going to be, but I find it ridiculous because we sat there for three something hours and during that time I was on Benadryl, so my body was trying to go to sleep.  My temps, they said, were normal, yet I began to get cold and shook.  At the time I figured it was because the sore throat and the discomfort of sitting in a chair was keeping me awake when the Benadryl was telling my body to sleep.  My body really hates such predicaments and I'd begun wishing I hadn't taken the Benadryl earlier - I'd taken it so I could try to sleep through the remainder of the sore throat and lessen chances of postnasal drip back there.  When we finally saw someone, the doctor was very rough, gagging me four times and speaking in a condescending tone of voice as if I had any control over my own gag reflex.  I remember feeling tears streaming down my face from the gagging, and I wanted to slap him upside the head really bad.  I'd heard negative things about him before so I suppose when I first heard who he was I should have gotten up and said "Never mind" but a) I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and b) I'd just spent three hours in worse misery than being home and really wanted to get antibiotics going if it was strep.

In the end I had to drink down some narcotic for the pain and fell blissfully asleep for a while, waking occasionally to a very dry mouth and searing throat pain despite the painkiller.  By the next morning, however, my throat felt better - I could swallow, at least.  However, I was very loopy from the drugs and exhausted.  So, I stayed home from work and slept a good portion of the day.  By evening, I thought I was on the mend but I didn't have an appetite yet and I still didn't want to drink much, just a sip of water here and there.  I didn't figure I'd go in Wednesday, either, and I was right.  I woke up feeling better, sore throat gone, but my sinuses had finally started to fill up and a small cough had developed.  I was achy all over (minorly so) and didn't feel much up to thinking.

Then around noon, my appetite came back full force, my nose began to run, and I started coughing.  I watched TV most of the day and could remember seeing most shows actually end, so I knew my mind was coming back and I wasn't conking out every so many minutes.  I was very optimistic around 6pm that I'd be into work today because these are all signs I'm on the mend, and usually once they kick in, I'm ready and rearing to go.  By bedtime I was really tired again and the cough was still unproductive, causing pain in my tiny bronchioles and a buildup of thick phlegm.  My sinuses were mostly still thick with dark stuff (I won't be surprised if I have a sinus infection a week or two from now).  Then I woke up at 1am with a fever of 101.8 which rose to 102.8 briefly from my attempts to feel warm and less congested in a hot shower.  (Why do you have a fever when you're shivering uncontrollably?  I don't get that.)  Eventually I took some tylenol for the fever and minor muscle cramps (from shaking) and went back to bed and just woke up about 9am.  I vaguely remember Dale getting up this morning, but do remember when he woke up and said "Happy Anniversary."

Currently my temp is at 97.6 and I think I'm starting to get hungry but don't really want to think about food just yet.

I'm getting rather sick of being sick.  A friend called me last night and began describing what sounds identical.  She's been struggling with it for two weeks and says it came on like a scratchy throat, headache, exhaustion; then it seemed to go away and came back full force a few days later.  She's just starting to feel alive again.  Says she's known a few people that have had this.

I'm going to start calling it The Plague, and it's not Fisher Stevens, either.  (I've always kinda liked him, actually.)

Now that the germs have been told on, maybe they'll fear for their lives and get the funk out.  I'm gonna chase them away with a baseball bat.  As soon as I can move again.

~w

Creepy all day today

So this actually started on Monday when someone asked where a colleague was. I said, "He's out today and Wednesday." At some point in the conversation I recall joking, "Yeah, I think I'll be sick on Wednesday!" So yesterday morning I woke up with a sore throat, which I figured was from snoring. But by nightfall, it hadn't gone away and I noticed the "creepy crawlies" in the back of my throat, in my ears, up my nasal passages. I began thinking I was coming down with something, so I started on my garlic regimen.

This morning (Wednesday!) I woke up around 3am with a nasty bit of throat soreness, and knew I'd be staying home, but didn't wake up enough to call in until the alarm went off.

I've thus been home sick today. Well, the weirdness began around 2pm when I heard heavy footsteps on the front porch. At first I thought it was the mail person, but the footsteps very heavy and coming from the wrong direction. Turns out it was some heavyset guy who came to knock on our door. I didn't answer. He drove away, and I've no idea who he was.

So then I decide I'm going to watch some TV and I'm sitting here watching Dead Like Me. The last episode I watch is "Haunted." Just as I'm about to reach the remote, the phone rings. It's the vet. So I pick up and I'm told Lisa's ashes are ready.

Talk about freakin' weird.

~w

whitquoteoftheday

"Friendship is complicated.  One minute you're swimming in bliss, the next, you wanna smack someone upside the head." – whitquoteoftheday, 4/5/11

whitquote of the day

"Sometimes, you just can't help spilling beer in your laptop." – whitquoteoftheday, 4/4/11.

sadness

which is really silly considering how lucky I am, generally speaking. But earlier, a close friend of mine was watching me struggle with a foot that was so painful that I couldn't even stand with her and Dale to watch an event I'd been looking forward to, something as simple as just /standing/... then later, I commented that I was done with orthotics, it's been a whole year... and she said, "Yeah, you've mentioned that a couple of times recently. Why don't you just go buy a more comfortable pair of shoes?"

I wanted to scream.

If I could FIND a more comfortable pair of shoes, don't you think I'd have done so by now? I've wasted hundreds of dollars on shoes in the past three to four years, trying to find a pair that was not only comfortable, but didn't cause excruciating pain in my heel and arch. I've seen a doctor who agrees it's PF, and who agreed that the orthotics are wonderfully made. He gave me the options and they all sounded worse than simply not standing on the foot or going out into the winter and doing stupid things that injures it further. The only thing that helps me at all is venting about it when I'm in pain.

I won't complain about a condition I can't do anything about when I'm around her, because I don't think hearing "the obvious" is a good reason for murder.

Still, now I'm really sad because after all this, Dale made a comment about my stride making it better when it's wide (which I'd mentioned previously) and so I was like, yeah, it is better that way, because my arch isn't getting hit all the time by the hard arch support, it's in a different place. So I began walking beside him, he sped up slightly, and /she/ walked right in front of me, nearly forcing me to slow up and walk behind them both. It was in a parking lot, there was no reason for it, so it annoyed me, accident or not. I only said, "Dudes, peoples are in front of my stride!" and she sounded all pissy, like, "SORRY, I didn't MEAN to, zheezh." If she didn't mean to, and I said that behind them both, why'd she take it so personally? How'd she know to respond as if it were her that did it?

Which put me in a foul mood, because I then felt like it couldn't have been an accident, it had to have been slightly intentional, which is stupid, I mean, why'd she do that? So it was probably accidental. But the attitude really sucked.

I've come to the conclusion that I very much dislike hanging out with her when Dale's with us. I know I change in the situation, and so I've begun trying to be quieter, like I was today, and it didn't help her reactions to my presence, so I figure it's not just me that has an issue. SHE changes, too. It wasn't like this in the beginning but over the last several months it has gotten incredibly irritating to me, and I cannot do it any more. She never pokes me in the sides when we're alone, either. Only in the presence of others. It leads me to believe she's got power issues. It doesn't make it easier on me to believe this. I still take it personally and it wounds me greatly because she knows how much it bothers me.

I get that she and Dale are good friends. I get it. And I want them to have each other to hang out. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see they have a lot in common and enjoy hanging out and doing stuff. I can control the jealousy I have over the fact they CAN do all these things - hiking, snowboarding, standing - because it's not their fault I can't participate. It really sucks that the outdoors is what Dale loves most, and she's all too willing to be with him when I cannot be, and so I feel left out all the time, and being asked to join them is like a hard poke through my heart because after years of steadily refusing more and more to go out and do these things, I'm still being asked, and it makes me want to go, to be out there, enjoying the beginning of our relationship all over again. I can get over that, that's my problem. But why do I have to constantly feel like a third wheel when I /do/ get to be there? I hate it. I absolutely hate it.

Maybe it's running away from a problem, in fact, I'm sure it is. I don't care. I'm sick of crying when I'm home alone, avoiding pissing her off or getting pissing her off.

~nv

Whitquote: 4/1/11

"Consume carefully, and don't inhale while doing so."